Body Positive Affirmations: try ‘IF-fermations’ instead
Body positive affirmations are great but sometimes ones about your body like “I love my body” are difficult… and frankly, just don’t help.
Are affirmations the best way to start out the day?
Before we dig into the science of affirmations I have to share what comes to my mind whenever I think of affirmations. It’s a video of a little girl, probably 4 or 5 years old, standing on the counter in her bathroom in front of the mirror. She’s enthusiastically proclaiming, “I can do anything good!”, “I like my hair!”, “I like my mom, I like my dad!” and so on. She’s really into it and her energy is contagious.
I’m guessing for most of us a similar picture comes to mind when thinking of affirmations. Standing in front of the mirror and reciting a phrase something along the lines of “I love myself” or “I am worthy”. These phrases are great, but I think we could be missing the mark when it comes to body image affirmations.
Science Behind Affirmations
There are studies that back up why and how standing in front of a mirror and trying to motivate yourself or boost your self-esteem can help. First, it is important to note that for affirmations to make lasting, long-term changes they require regular practice.
According to this article from PositivePsychology.com, there is MRI evidence suggesting that certain neural pathways are increased when people practice self-affirmation tasks (Cascio et al., 2016). If you want to be super specific, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex—involved in positive valuation and self-related information processing—becomes more active when we consider our personal values (Falk et al., 2015; Cascio et al., 2016).
As inherently positive statements, affirmations are designed to encourage an optimistic mindset. And optimism in itself is a powerful thing. In terms of reducing negative thoughts, affirmations have been shown to help with the tendency to linger on negative experiences (Wiesenfeld et al., 2001).
Affirmations may not be for everyone
However (and this is a big however), the evidence suggests that positive affirmations only work in individuals who are already positive or high functioning. Researchers from a 2009 study stated that “Positive self-statements seemed to provide a boost only to people with high self-esteem—those who ordinarily feel good about themselves already—and that boost was small.”
Affirmations also aren’t always effective when trying to escape from negative thoughts. According to the previously cited study, “…if people who believe that they are unlovable repeat, ‘‘I’m a lovable person,’’ they may dismiss this statement and perhaps even reinforce their conviction that they are unlovable.”
Positive messages also don’t sink in when the logical part of our brain is offline. This happens when we feel threatened, stressed, or unsafe and our sympathetic nervous system is activated. The brain can’t absorb any positive messages when the primary feeling is being unsafe. For many who’ve experienced trauma, this may be a huge block. especially concerning trauma involving the body.
Why Body Positive Affirmations Aren’t Working
So by now, it should be clear that affirmations can help but aren’t for everyone or every circumstance, especially when struggling with body image.
There are likely a few reasons why positive body image affirmations specifically aren’t helping.
- You don’t actually believe it. It’s pretty hard to get your brain to buy into something you don’t believe. Messages that fall outside one’s latitude of acceptance are thought to meet resistance, and even to have the potential to backfire, leading one to hold one’s original position even more strongly (Zanna, 1993).
- Positive thinking might be a struggle in general.
- You still want hard evidence to substantiate that phrase.
- You aren’t in a mental headspace that allows you believe the postive body image affirmation and trying to convince yourself is like arguing with your brain. And your brain likely responds to arguments much like other people do, by digging it’s heels in.
- Body related trauma that’s caused a disconnection from how your feel in your body.
Reframing body positive affirmations isn't the only way to improve body image, check out the resource guide for body positive parenting.
Live and learn
I’ve seen a lot of these struggles as a clinician treating eating disorders at multiple levels of care. As a well-meaning dietitian first starting off I encouraged clients to talk about aspects they liked about their bodies. I remember one client refusing, passionately saying she didn’t like anything about her body. Clearly this wasn’t going the way I was hoping.
I pressed on and encouraged her to think, surely there had to be something. What about her hair or nails? “Nope”, the client said. “I really don’t like anything.”
Needless to say, that session left both of us feeling a little frustrated. For me, I was mostly frustrated that I couldn’t help this client more. I felt stuck.
But, like they always say, the tough sessions teach you the most. 🙂
A Different Approach: If-fermations
One powerful way to approach affirmations differently is by rephrasing them as a question or a what-if. This opens your mind to the possibilities and helps you explore thoughts and emotions around mental barriers.
So instead of “I love my body” try “What if I love my body?” Those what-if questions just shift your mental energy enough and opens the door to new possibilities.
Some things to think about when thinking about these what-ifs:
- Keep these questions opened ended. It’s like having a conversation with someone, asking open ended questions allows it to continue freely.
- You don’t have to find a definitive answer, just come from a place of curiosity.
- Start replacing negative self talk related to body image with a what-if question. This first requires being aware of negative self talk of course but over time it will become more automatic to shift your thinking.
Language is powerful, both self-talk and to others. Check out this blog post about talking to kids about nutrition and body image.
So next time you have a negative body image thought pop into your brain take a second to notice it and try and reframe it with a what-if question. The change might not be immediate, it rarely is when it comes tobody image, but I’m confident over time thought patterns will shift making it easier to come to a place of body respect.
